Razgar Qaderpour

Registered Psychotherapist | Clinical Supervisor | Couple/Family Therapy

Location: Ontario Online Availability: Ontario and Quebec; other Canadian jurisdictions may be available where permitted.

About

My practice is primarily dedicated to couple and family therapy. I work with couples and families experiencing recurring conflict, emotional disconnection, difficulties with intimacy and communication, infidelity and other breaches of trust, parenting and family challenges, cultural and intergenerational differences, separation and divorce, and major life transitions. I am interested not only in what people are arguing about, but in what happens between them when things become difficult. Relationships often develop recurring cycles. Hurt may come out as anger. Fear may appear as defensiveness. One person’s attempt to get closer may feel like pressure to the other, while the other’s attempt to create space may be experienced as rejection. Over time, both people can become so focused on protecting themselves that neither can easily see the pattern they have become caught in. My role is to help slow these interactions down, understand what is happening underneath them, and work collaboratively toward changing the pattern itself. I tend to be active and engaged in sessions. I may interrupt an escalating exchange, ask direct questions, draw attention to a pattern as it unfolds, or help someone put into words an experience that has previously come out as anger, criticism, defensiveness, silence, or withdrawal. I do not approach couple therapy as a search for who is right and who is wrong. At the same time, understanding a relationship systemically does not mean assuming that responsibility is always equal. When trust has been broken or someone’s choices have caused harm, individual accountability matters. This is particularly important in work involving infidelity and other significant breaches of trust. Therapy is not about rushing toward forgiveness or persuading a couple to remain together. Sometimes the work is about rebuilding trust; sometimes it is about determining whether there is enough left to rebuild. Culture, migration, family history, and the broader context in which relationships develop are also important parts of my clinical thinking. We learn what it means to be a partner, parent, child, or family member within particular families and cultures, and these experiences shape expectations around intimacy, loyalty, independence, parenting, gender, responsibility, and extended family.

Having lived and worked across different cultural contexts has made this dimension of relationships particularly important in my work. I do not begin with a predetermined idea of what a relationship or family should look like. I want to understand the particular world in which it developed and what each person brings into it. My clinical approach is relational, attachment-informed, systemic, and integrative. Emotionally Focused Therapy and family systems thinking are important foundations of my work, alongside evidence-informed approaches to attachment, emotional and behavioural regulation, conflict, communication, and relational functioning. I use theory to help me understand the people sitting in front of me—not to make the people sitting in front of me fit a theory. Couple and family therapy has been the central focus of my academic and clinical training. Both my master’s and doctoral education were specifically in Couple and Family Therapy, and my doctoral research involved developing and evaluating a culturally responsive, couple-focused therapeutic model. I have worked with couples and families across clinical, hospital, community, and academic settings and have taught couple and family therapy at the university level. I take seriously the decision to bring an intimate relationship or family into therapy. People are not bringing me an abstract clinical problem. They are bringing a relationship with a history— sometimes years or decades of attachment, shared life, responsibility, intimacy, disappointment, conflict, loyalty, loss, sacrifice, and hope. My role is to understand that relationship with them: clearly enough to identify what keeps it stuck, directly enough not to avoid difficult realities, and carefully enough to determine what meaningful change may require.

Areas of Practice

Couple and Relationship Therapy; Family Therapy; Relationship Conflict and Recurring Patterns; Emotional Disconnection; Infidelity, Betrayal and Trust Repair; Intimacy and Relational Difficulties; Separation and Divorce; Parenting and Co-Parenting; Family Conflict and Boundaries; Cultural and Intergenerational Issues; Migration and Adjustment; Major Life Transitions.

Clinical Approach

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), family systems thinking, attachment-informed and relational psychotherapy, and integrative evidence-informed approaches to emotional and behavioural regulation, conflict, communication, and relational functioning.

Clients

Couples and Families. When clinically appropriate, individual meetings may be incorporated as part of an established couple or family treatment plan.

Languages

English, Kurdish, and Farsi